MILESTONE

Teela turned six months old on the 23rd. Yesterday she had her six month check-up and got two shots and one oral vaccination. She was such a good girl the whole time. The only time she cried was when they gave her the shots. I HATE those things. The doctor also told me that he thinks she'll be just fine. He thinks that her muscle problem will clear up with physical therapy and she won't have to go see a neuroligist (sp??). So I am relieved. Now I can't wait for her to start crawling. NO MORE PACI for this Little Miss either. She hasn't been taking one and when she does she just chews on it. So I've decided nows a good time to give it the boot. I've asked her teachers not to offer it to her and I've quite giving it to her at home. Next, I will introduce a cup. My mom thinks I'm making her grow up too fast, but I did the same thing with Prairie. It wasn't successful, but I tried. No recent picture of Teela yet, but I am working on it.

PRAIRIE

Since my divorce from Prairie's dad, it's been hard, on her, not me. She loves her dad so much and can't understand why he left her. He is now married again and I can't stand his new wife. There's a lot that goes along with that, but right now it's not important. Prairie has been in counseling since her brother died. I try my best to help her understand what happened to him and why he had to go to heaven. She's only 5 but I think she understands alot more than most.

Her dad and his new wife denied Cylas being his son. Prairie has said numerous times, "why did my dad and D get their wish?" "How come we didn't get our wish for Cylas to stay?" I don't know how to answer that question. I try my best not to be negative toward him but it's been hard. I have a lot of hard feelings toward him for what he said about Cylas and what he allowed his new wife, then girlfriend, to say about our son. I feel like he didn't want him here and I feel like it was his fault Cylas died. Deep down I blame him!!!!

Prairie is hurting and I don't know how to stop that hurt. As a mother I feel helpless. I don't want her to hurt. Today, however, she's going to the movies with her counsler and then later on she'll go on another trip with her. Prairie loves going to see Ms. L. I think it's good because she has someone to talk to other than me. She still misses Cylas, but knows that he'll always be in her heart and in her mind. She tells me the same thing, when I'm crying missing him too. We do a good job at comforting each other, but I don't know how we've done it. We are both still trying to find our normal.

I tell Prairie every minute of every day that I love her!!! I've just begun telling Teela that I love her. It's been there, but I've been cautious with that word when it comes to her. But I do love her. I love both of my girls!! I am very lucky to have them!!!

Prairie's Mom

IT'S BEEN A WHILE

I tend to forget about this blog. I am still in the habit of posting on Cylas' blog. I still give updates of the girls on there even though that's the whole reason for this BLOG. Well not much has been going on. I took both girls to Dollywood last weekend and it was so HOT!! Teela was miserable but Prairie was having some fun. On a fun note, Teela is finally getting her first tooth. She will be 6 months old next week. I've found out recently that she has some muscle issues and maybe some nerve damage. But I have been reassured that with physical therapy she will be fine. Her mom took drugs while she was preggo with Teela so I have to keep a close eye on her. Prairie will be graduating from day care on July 10th. This is something I am dreading. I'm not ready for my baby to start BIG school. I took her shopping while we were in TN and we bought some new clothes and some new shoes. She recently got her hair cut and she really likes it. Right now, she wants a water gun, I can only imagine what she'll do with that. I've got to find the one she wants first. She's been missing her brother, but his 17 month angelvarsary is coming up on Monday, so I think that's what is bringing that on. I am still adjusting to having two girls. Before I had kids I always wanted boys because I thought they were easier to take care of. They're not as bossy and you don't have to buy frilling stuff for them. But having two girls has been exciting. I wouldn't trade either of them in for nothing in the world. My days are filled with fun and laughter. Prairie is a monkey so she keeps Teela laughing all the time. And Teela of course is the boss!!!! I hope to have some new pictures of Teela soon. Teela & Prairie's Mom