Moving Forward with P & T

CHRISTMAS 2011

2011-12-12T07:38:00.000-08:00

Here are some new pictures of my girls

LITTLE MISS CHEROKEE PAGEANT

2011-09-30T13:11:00.000-07:00

She's running for Little Miss Cherokee.These photos were taken on September 26th!!! And the pageant will be held on October 4th and October 5th!! I am getting anxious and nervous AND she has nerves of STEEL!!!! We miss little brother around this time of year that's for sure!!!

UPDATE

2011-08-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

I officially have a 2nd grader!! And Boss is out of her cast. She will hopefully get released from the doctor tomorrow. And my 2nd grader has decided to run in the Little Miss Cherokee Pageant again this year. So I'm going to be busy, busy, busy again getting everything together and worked out. I've included some new pictures of my little cuties.

SOMEONE'S GOT A BIRTHDAY COMING UP!!!

2011-03-29T09:50:00.000-07:00

On March 31, 2004 at 5:18 am I delivered a beautiful 7lb. 9oz. little girl named, Prairie Monique!!! It's so hard to believe that she'll be 7 in two days. Time has gone by so fast it seems. I wish she was still little and would let me call her baby but she isn't and I can't call her baby anymore. She tells me that she's a big girl now!!! Ah I miss those moments!!!

We will celebrate her birthday April 1st at Chuck E. Cheese!!!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

2011-02-14T10:23:00.000-08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to my beautiful girls!!! Mommy loves you both very much!!!

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY!!

2010-12-23T19:42:00.001-08:00

To a special little girl who has blessed my life so much. You have put a smile back on my face and I love you very much Bossy Rossy! I didn't carry you or give you life but I was there when no one else wanted you! I opened up my home and heart to you. You are loved very much!!

I hope you had a great day! Enjoy your horse and you'll get a cake tomorrow to share with Big Brother Cylas!!

Mommy and Sissy are happy to be a part of your life!!!

1st Runner-Up 2010 Little Miss Cherokee Pageant

2010-10-12T09:52:00.000-07:00

For this to be her first pageant, I am very proud of P. She did an outstanding job!!! She's ready to run again next year, but plans on getting the crown.

WE ARE BUSY BUSY

2010-09-30T06:47:00.000-07:00

This blog is sadly overlooked by me. I am still in the habit of blogging on Cylas' and never here. It has been a busy September for us. P is running for Little Miss Cherokee this year and I have been busy getting ready for that. It's alot of work and it has taken alot of money to get her traditional Cherokee outfits made. Luckily she has awesome sponsors and that has helped me out alot. Now if I can just get her to practice her speech we'll be doing good. She's gotten lazy on me!!!

Boss is growing. She is talking more and more. And she's getting her own little attitude which I love!!!! She has picked up the cutest thing;she'll stick out her bum and say "booooooooooooooooooty"!!!! I don't if she learned that from TV or her sister. And then she'll mom "crazy"!! And just laugh!!!! She has totally filled our live's with happiness and I don't know what I would without her.

MY SILLY GIRLS

2010-07-29T10:04:00.000-07:00

FEW AND FAR BETWEEN

2010-07-08T10:49:00.000-07:00

This little blog is getting over looked it seems! This is just a quick post to let you that we are doing alright, but have been very busy!! We have been moving into our new house, Boss has had the pink eye and it's just now going away, and P has been going to Summer camp. It's been a pretty busy month for all of us. I really haven't stopped to smell the roses in over the month and I'm starting to feel it. I wish I could take a couple days off and just enjoy the quite of a new house. And I might do that later on but right now I just can't.

I'm in a new relationship and there's a smile back on my face. I call him J and he's a very good guy. He's crazy about me and the girls are getting used to him. P says that she really likes him and Boss is still unsure about him but here and there she'll smile at him. It's all very new and to be honest I didn't think I would ever be in a new relationship. I had been trying to avoid it for so long and then next thing I know he's entered into my life and now I can't see my life without him in it.

The new house is finished and most of our stuff is moved in. Still haven't stayed the night in it but I hope that will change soon. Still working on the small stuff. And of course staying busy with their school stuff. Plus trying to keep up with work. I really need a vacation!!!!

I am going to post two pictures: one is Boss and her new "do" and the other is P acting silly.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE

2010-05-11T13:10:00.000-07:00

I am very bad at keeping this blog updated. P and T are doing great. P is finishing up her Kindergarten year and T has moved up to another age group at school. I've been very busy with work and school stuff. And other things but I won't get into that here.

In about two weeks T will be 17 months old. She's getting so big and she's saying more and more everyday. P can't wait to finish up her school year. I don't know if she'll get much of a break but she has enjoyed her time at school.

I got a different vehicle and we're prerparing to move into our house soon. I'm thinking we'll be in end either at the end of June or early July. So I've been busy looking for furniture and checking prices. I can't wait to move into our house. We'll finally have a place to call "home"!!!

Well it's almost time to go home. I hope I can improve on my updating skills.

ZOO

2010-04-30T06:42:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from our trip to the Zoo. I might post more later. This is the only one's I've sent from my phone.

16 MONTHS OLD

2010-04-23T06:24:00.000-07:00

Today a special little girl is 16 months old.

HAPPY 16 MONTHS TEELA "BOSS" ROSS!!!

WE LOVE YOU!!

MOMMY, SISSY, & BUBBA (in heaven)

A TRIP TO DOLLYWOOD

2010-04-15T06:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday the kiddos and I took a trip to Dollywood. We had a blast. Today I am still recovering from all the excitement. I can't wait for Boss to get older so she can enjoy it as much as Prairie does!!!

HAPPY 6TH BIRTHDAY!!!

2010-03-31T05:06:00.000-07:00

March 31, 2004

TODAY (March 31, 2010)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

AND WE LOVE YOU TOO!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR PRAIRIE,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

LOVE,
MOM, CYLAS, & TEELA

THE PARTY AND NEW LOOK

2010-03-30T07:32:00.000-07:00

The party was a success. All the kiddos had a blast!!!! Prairie got a new haircut. She's preparing to play soccer and wanted a shorter do so we got her one. She'll turn six looking sassy and acting like a DIVA! That's my girl!!

A PARTY AND CHUCK E. CHEESE

2010-03-26T12:16:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, March 31 at 5:18 AM my little princess turned DIVA will turn six! I can't believe I am going to be a mother to a six year old. I can honestly say that she has helped me grow up and get my priorities in place. I am no longer worried about how I look and if you could see me you would know it. I am no longer worried about my shoes, I buy one pair of tennis shoes every two years and live in scandals most of the time. I am no longer that selfish person I was before I had her. Her health and happiness are the most important to me. We've encountered the most horrible kind of pain anyone could experience when Cylas died and even though we are still missing him, we've managed to keep moving forward. We've accepted a precious little girl into our lives and she's one of us no matter what anyone says.

Prairie is a beautiful little girl with a heart of gold. She loves her momma, her brother, and sister. She's learning to read and write in the Cherokee Language ( not an easy task, but she's doing it.) She's a great artist and is always drawing family pictures (those pictures always have Cylas sitting on a cloud watching over us). She is "Bop's" (my dad) girl and competes for his attention with Teela. Sometimes they are both on his lap watching TV and enjoying their time with THEIR Bop as Teela says. And she loves the Twilight Saga just as much as I do and she's even a big fan of Vampires. I love that little girl with all my heart. I thank God for every chance I get.

Tomorrow she'll be having her birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's. She will be with her dad next weekend so I had to do her party from "me" this weekend. I ask her every year where she wants her party and the last couple of years the parties have been low key and at home. This year she begged and begged for Chuck E. Cheese's and I finally gave in and made the reservations. So I really hope she has fun and enjoys herself. She'll also get a special trip to Build a Bear but I haven't told her that. I want that to be a surprise. Her uncle is giving her some money to go "build" something. I haven't quite figured how I will fit Cylas into the celebration but we always try and include him in everything. I think it helps her to know that no matter what he's still her brother whether he's here or in heaven.

Prairie, Mommy, Cylas, and Teela love you very much!

15 MONTHS OLD

2010-03-23T05:33:00.000-07:00

Ms. Bossy Rossy (Teela) is 15 months old today. She's a ball of fun. She loves to dance and has learned to climb. We've had to move our chairs into the extra bedroom so she wouldn't be climbing on them. She hasn't quite learned how to climb onto the beds or sofa and I hope that doesn't happen anytime soon.

She's been sick the last four days but I think whatever she had is finally leaving her system. Her doctor seems to think she might have asthma. For her next doctor's visit that will be the topic of her check-up. She also stays constipated and I've tried everything to help her out on that one. So I guess I'll have to bring that back up too.

We watched Dancing with the Stars last and she loved it. She would stand in front of the TV and just dance. She would turn around and sway, it was so cute.

HAPPY 15 MONTHS TEELA!!!

Mommy

GETTING READY TO TURN SIX

2010-03-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

Every year I get P's pictures made around her birthday. We got some made on the 13th and they turned out good.

What do you think?

IT'S A BEEN YEAR AND 2 DAYS

2010-03-15T06:22:00.000-07:00

(T and Uncle Alby)

On March 13, 2009 a special little someone came to live with me. She was tiny and precious and needed some love. She was 2 1/2 months old and had already lived a rough life. I wasn't sure I was ready for such a journey but I faced my fears and went full speed ahead. She's a good little girl and fits into my small family unit perfectly. She has helped my heart heal so much since losing Cylas. I'm not quite 100% back to normal and honestly I don't I ever will be. She has a peice of my heart just like P and Cylas do. She's become a part of my life and I'm happy to be the mom that she needed so badly.

I am talking about Bossy Rossy (T) of course. She's the little girl that has come into my life and put a smile back on my face. She is now a feisty little girl with a giant personality. I've watched her grow into this little person and I thank God for her. She has become my daughter during this time and I can't imagine a day without her. I pray for her health everyday.

I don't have the paper work yet, that says she's mine but I've invested alot into her little life. She's safe, loved & wanted. Teela, you are a precious blessing and I love you so very much.

14 MONTHS

2010-02-23T12:09:00.000-08:00

T is 14 months old.....Yay!!!!

She has been with me for about a year now and I could never give her back. I know that sounds bad, but it's so true. She's growing into this curious toddler and the fun is just beginning.

She turns our TV's on and off.
She pulls everything out of our cabinets.
She's slowly getting used to her sippy cups.
She's getting more teeth.
Her hair is getting a little longer but she has not had a first hair cut.
She's funny and loves to dance.
She likes basketball.
She's starting to say more and more everyday.
She's learning and growing and that's all I could ask for.

HAPPY 14 MONTHS, TEELA!!!!

WHEW!!!!!

2010-02-18T13:18:00.000-08:00

I know that I am bad at updating this blog. I update it when I feel like it, which is funny, you would think I would like to update this blog because of my two beautiful living girls instead of concentrating on Cylas' blog. But I guess I'm trying to balance the best of both worlds, the world of a dead baby mama and the world of the living.

I've been out of work the last five days because Teela had RSV. The doctor told me to keep her in the house and on her meds. So we've both kind of had cabin fever. She was walking around with her jacket and tobbagan on for the last two days and was more than ready to get in her car seat this morning to go to school. So I think she was more than ready to go back into the world.

Prairie is doing great. She's growing like a weed. She has gotten so tall in the last couple months, it's unbelievable (sp?). She will be six at the end of March and I can't believe how fast time has gone by. It seems like only yesterday she was only 7 lbs. 9 ozs. as compared to the present where she weighs 50lbs. It's been such a blessing to have her in my life. After Cylas died she was my only reason to move forward and keep going. She's my baby girl and I love her with all my heart.

Teela has been a blessing too!! She's doing funny things and is 13 months old. She's dancing and talking more, she's just amazing. I never thought that I could be this happy again after losing such a handsome little boy. I miss him, yes, but I am also enjoying every moment with my girls. Teela's favorite words right now are "fat back" and she points her finger at us, which in Teela language means "right now". She can say right now but chooses not to. She's so cute.

We're still not in our house and probably won't be until late Spring, UGH!!!!!!!

YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE................

2010-02-08T10:44:00.000-08:00

what came out of T's nose. I could never do it justice so here's the pic.

CHECKING IN

2010-01-22T06:11:00.000-08:00

I am taking some time to check in. It's been a while since I've posted and I'm sorry for the delay. Both girls are doing great. I am moving forward with getting full custody of Teela. The social worker is going to help me as much as she can. Teela's real mom is willing to sign her over to me, which is good. I couldn't have been happier to hear that. Teela's mom realizes that she is in a good home and that she's well taken care of. Teela and Prairie are the bosses. They do really good together and they truly act like sisters. If Prairie cries Teela is right there to comfort her and sometimes she even cries with her.

So I hope to have those papers soon. We just got to work on the details and find a way to actually make it to the lawyers office. Since Teela's mom doesn't work she can use Legal Aide. So hopefully I'll have some news to share next time I post.

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY TEELA!!!!

2009-12-23T05:05:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday dear Teela-Bear, we love you

Happy Birthday to you
>
Teela you have brightened my life more than you know. I know that I am not your "real" mom, but I love you like you're one of my own. I am glad you are in my life.
>
LOVE,
>
Mom, Prairie, and your guardian Angel CYLAS
>

SNOW OVER THE WEEKEND

2009-12-21T06:41:00.000-08:00

This weekend we were stuck at home. Here's what we seen when we looked out the window.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANA!!!

2009-12-15T10:37:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to our Nana! Her age is a secret.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANA!!!!

CARVED FROM WOOD

2009-12-10T05:41:00.001-08:00

P's name turned out really good. Wish I knew two colors would look so good, I would have done T's the same way. But over all I really like them. All that's missing now is my name. I didn't get mine done. Cylas' name looks good too. You'll have to go to his blog to see his.

MISCHIEF

2009-12-02T10:33:00.000-08:00

Well my little one is getting closer to being called a "walker". She's taking a few steps here and there. Yesterday she walked about 4 feet at school. But look at what she chooses to do at home. It seems that she's more interested in CLIMBING than walking, UGH!! But doesn't she look cute?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2009-11-25T07:34:00.001-08:00

TO EVERYONE.

FROM MY FAMILY TO YOURS.

CONVERSATIONS

2009-11-24T09:37:00.000-08:00

The other day P's dad and I spoke about a possible custody change. She lives with me 99% of the time and visits his family every other Saturday. I like the arrangement we have and I think P likes it too. But we're getting a new house and we'll be moving into it soon. I think too many changes too fast might stress her out. I've asked him to allow her some time to get used to the new house and then we'll talk about it again. I told him that I don't want his new wife having a hand in her discipline. I've also asked that if she cries at first to not make her stay and bring her back to me, he said that he would. I'm trying my best to be nice and workable with my schedule. I've totally avoided any kind of conversation with her dad for two years. So us agreeing on something is totally new to me. I'm worried about my daughter and how she might react to this news. I've mentioned it to her here and there and she's always stated that she wants to stay with me. So I've got alot to think about in the coming months. I only want to do what's right for her.

TEELA IS.......................

2009-11-23T05:49:00.000-08:00

Today Teela is 11 months old. She's still working on the whole walking thing but has taken a few steps here and there. HAPPY 11 MONTHS TEELA!!!!!!!

SISTERS GOOFING OFF

2009-11-13T06:33:00.000-08:00

T and I were goofing off. I was making her laugh and she was wearing my hat. And I think she was trying to pick her nose, but I really hope not.

T & I HAVE A HOUSE

2009-11-13T06:30:00.000-08:00

FINALLY, our house has come in. Now Mommy needs to start saving her money so she can furnish it.

THE DENTIST & DISNEY ON ICE

2009-11-06T10:07:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday, P had a dentist appointment. There she learned she has two cavities, which will have to be fixed in December. Then they said that her jaw doesn't sit right or something; I don't have the full details on that one. So she'll have to see a specialist when she turns seven. So, I'll pray about this and leave it in God's hands. Yesterday I purchased two tickets to the Disney on Ice: Finding Nemo. P and I will go on November 25th in Asheville. She is so excited. Unfortunately, T will have to stay home. I don't think she could sit still long enough. But on the upside she will be going to the Dixie Stampede in December, I think she might enjoy that.

P MELTS MY HEART

2009-11-04T06:45:00.000-08:00

Last night P and I talked before we both drifted off to sleep. She talked about her brother and how much she missed him. She talked about her dad. Her dad was asking me if she could start staying with him from Friday until Sunday and I felt that she wasn't ready for such a big change and he hasn't asked since then. But last night P said that he's been asking her. I asked her what she said and she laughed and said "mom, I said NO. Of course. I said that I wanted to stay with my mommy." I know that she loves her dad and I know that he loves her, but he's been gone for two years and usually shows no interest in keeping her for longer than 2 or 3 hours. I worry that she might one day want to move in with him, but right now, I know that she loves her momma. She's been with me this whole time, and I haven't been away from her for more than a day. P always finds ways to let me that she loves me. She's always making me pictures or she has Pop help her write me a letter. And I try my best to let her know that love her each and every day.

SHE'S GETTING CLOSER

2009-11-04T06:43:00.001-08:00

T's teacher told me yesterday that she took a few steps. I am very excited, but disappointed that I missed them. I've been working with her at home, but she'll just stand there and then she'll fall to the floor. I am hoping she'll be walking by the time she's a year old. I can't wait for her to walk. She'll be this little bitty thing walking around. CUTE!!!!!

NEW SHOES & T'S COSTUME

2009-11-04T06:40:00.000-08:00

I finally had time to take some pictures of T in her Halloween costume. I also wanted to share a picture of her new shoes. She has one more pair that I'll try on her tonight.

HALLOWEEN

2009-11-02T06:32:00.000-08:00

I only have pictures of P. T didn't get to go because of the rain. She's just now getting over a cold and I didn't want to take any chances.

P HAS BEEN MISSING BROTHER

2009-10-23T06:51:00.000-07:00

My sweet, tall P has been having a hard time lately. She's been missing her brother, Cylas. She has her moments every month and it lasts for 10 days. There are times she mentions how much she misses him and then there are times she just cries. She wants me to read "Dancing on the Moon". It's a really good book and it helps her understand that even though her brother is not here, he is still here spiritually and in our hearts. The book just reassures everything that I've told her from the beginning. I think about how hard it's been for me and I can't even begin to imagine how hard it's been for my little girl. She's had her innocense taken at such a young age. She knows way too much about death and she's only 5. She knows that when someone dies, they don't come back, NO matter how much you pray and wish they would. It hurts me to know that her little heart is broken because she misses her brother. When Cylas died I know that a part of me went with him, but I also think that apart of my daughter went with him too. I try to make her life as fun as possible. She has a great support system, but sometimes I wonder if it's enough. Her little friends know that she lost a brother so I know that she talks about him to them. She talks to me, my mom and my dad about how much she misses her brother. I honestly don't know how much she shares with her dad because she knows that he denied Cylas. She knows that he didn't want Cylas. And she also brings that up, too. I'm hoping that after tomorrow she'll be fine. (P it's ok. Momma is always here for you. And you know that Cylas lives on in your heart.)

10 MONTHS OLD

2009-10-23T06:31:00.000-07:00

Today T is 10 months old and battling, yet, another ear infection. I hate the fact that it's so easy for her to get sick. I try my best to keep her healthy but poor thing she catches everything that comes around. It's daycare, home, and I'm thinking a weak immune system. T is getting so big, it's unbelieveable. She's been crawling for about 3 months, she says mama, baba, bye bye, bite bite, nana, & mine. And to make P mad is also says "my momma". Which totally drives P crazy. T is also pulling up and standing "some" on her own. She hasn't got brave enough to take any steps but I think that's coming very soon.

We've had some cold spells here in Cherokee. T has her winter clothes ready to go. Here are a few pics of her in her winter's best. They were taken last week.

WE LIT OUR CANDLE

2009-10-16T08:02:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of our candle Mommy lit in memory of our brother, Cylas.

OCTOBER 15TH

2009-10-15T05:35:00.000-07:00

T AND I ARE REMEMBERING OUR BROTHER TODAY!!!!

CRAWLING CONTEST

2009-10-12T05:34:00.001-07:00

On Saturday, T was in a crawling contest at the fair. I thought I had a crawling champion on my hands. I mean she crawls all over the place at the house. She crawls down the hall, under the table, and into all the bedrooms. But on the day I wanted to let everyone see her crawl, what does she do? Well, lets just say she's too nosy for her own good. Instead of crawling, she sits there and watches all the other babies crawl. All I could do was laugh because I actually thought she would crawl. I wish that P was there, she might have crawled to her big Sis, but it was her Saturday to be with her dad, so I didn't ask him to have her there for the contest. Even though she just sat there, T is still MY crawling champion. I guess I just had some high expectations and she didn't.

AS PROMISED...................

2009-10-06T08:03:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of P showing off her gap. And she received $2.oo from the tooth fairy last night.

FIRST TOOTH

2009-10-05T09:31:00.000-07:00

Well this morning P lost her very first tooth. It's been loose for about 2 months and she refused to let me try and pull it. So we had to WAIT & WAIT for it to fall out on it's own. T on the other hand is getting teeth left and right. Currently she looks like a vampire, but that will change in the next few weeks. I have a couple pictures of P's tooth but not one of her smiling without it (I'll take one later tonight and I'll post it later.)

FLOWER

2009-09-30T12:47:00.000-07:00

This flower is in the garden at my daughter's school. And I absolutely love the color of it. I've never seen a flower like this before and I know that if I had a green thumb I would grow this in my flower bed.

Do these two girls look sick?

2009-09-29T09:59:00.000-07:00

I think the answer is NO!! But they were. This was taken on Friday, when P was feeling awful, and T was starting to feel better.

SICK AGAIN, UGH!!!!!!

2009-09-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

I took some pics of T at the ER. She's waiting as patiently as she can. We were there for 3 hours. Here they are ^^^

Just when I think we're ok, something else shows up. I missed three days of work because T had blisters on her throat and P has pneumonia in her left lung (this was FINALLY discovered after four weeks and 3 doctor's visits.) P is headed back to the hospital as I type this with a bad headache.

God please be with my girls. Help them get better soon.

FASHIONISTA!!!!!!

2009-09-21T12:13:00.001-07:00

This picture was taken at the New Kituwah Academy. P is such a fashionista, look at those BOOTS!!!!

MY SLEEPY GIRL & MY SILLY GIRL

2009-09-21T12:09:00.001-07:00

T is sleepy.................:0 It's too early.............

P spending her $$$ on Halloween stuff........

MOVING

2009-09-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

By this time next week T will be in a new room with new teachers. At first I was worried because she's so used to her teachers now, but I just heard that her transitioning time today went really well. My best friend works at the day care and told me that she really liked being in another room. She's starting to move around more now, so I think moving her up is a good idea. She'll start fulltime in her new room next week. She's crawling, pulling up, giving out kisses, waves bye bye, and even tells me no! no! And she's also dancing now. T is getting so big. I've tried introducing cup but we're not quite there yet. On Saturday she was able to actually get a drink out of her cup, but the look on her face said it all. It said, "don't throw away the bottles just yet!" I'll keep working on that. P is P. She'll start taking a 30 minute English class today at her school. I mean, she speaks English and hears it all the time at home but in school all she hears is our native language. It's all she hears and all she sees. But I think it's really important for her to learn the English language too!! Her Dad doesn't think so, but I really don't pay attention to him. I know that sounds awful, but it's the truth. Both girls are doing great. They continue to light up my life even on my darkest day.

WHAT WE SAW ON OUR WAY TO ASHEVILLE

2009-09-08T06:30:00.000-07:00

On Saturday we went to Asheville. I like taking the short cut from our house to the top of Soco Mountain and we have to go on the Great Smoky Mountain Park way. It's a nice, peaceful drive and for the first time ever we saw about 6 or 7 Elk right by the road.

ENJOY!!!

COSTUME CHANGE

2009-09-01T05:17:00.000-07:00

I posted yesterday saying that P had changed her mind about her Halloween costume. She wants to be a vampire and her inspiration is EDWARD from TWILIGHT. I also promised to post a picture of her "new" costume and I am keeping my fingers crossed that this doesn't change. Here's what she wants.....................(at the top)

P, WHAT CAN I SAY..........

2009-08-31T10:57:00.000-07:00

I posted a picture of a halloween costume that P wanted, well it's changed. Which I knew it would! She's like her momma and changes her mind more times than I would like. Now she wants to be a vampire. Since the movie TWILIGHT has come out you could say that both of us have kind of been obsessed. We watch the movie every night before we fall a sleep and her favorite song is the "baseball song" as she puts it. And right now, that's all I can remember too. :)

So it looks like I'll be ordering a vampire costume for my little Twilighter. She likes Edward because I like Edward and she can't wait for NEW MOON to come out. I'll try to post a picture of her ideal vampire costume as soon as I can find the catalog, I think it's in my van but I'm not sure.

But T is going to be a caterpillar. And she will be a very CUTE Caterpillar, if I say so myself!!!

T & P's Mom

OUR BROTHERS NEW HEADSTONE

2009-08-27T06:49:00.001-07:00

It's finally here. Cylas' new Headstone has arrived and we approve.

8 MONTHS OLD

2009-08-24T06:42:00.000-07:00

Teela's costume

Prairie's Costume

T turned 8 months old yesterday. It's so exciting. She's crawling and pulling up. I'm a nervous wreck but it's fun to see the changes in her. She's so cute and I love her to death. I am glad she is in my life. We went shopping on Saturday and I found the cutest halloween costume for her. She's gonna be a catapillar, and a very cute catapillar at that. I'll have to put her costume on her and take pictures. I'll post them as soon as I do.

Prairie didn't get a costume because they didn't have her size. She was mad, but I assured her, I would order hers online. She's going to be a dancer or something. It's a costume out of the fifties or something. I think it will look cute on her, too.

SoMe NeW NEWS!!!!!

2009-08-18T06:06:00.000-07:00

Last week both Girls were sick. Well, technically, Teela was sick with a stomach virus for a week and two days. Prairie was sick for one whole day and then hers was over. I missed a whole week of work. I hate it when babies get sick because they can't tell you what's wrong or where they're hurting. Teela has started crawling. So now she's into everything. She's also pulling up, which scares me to death. She's already had two Boo-boos. She likes to swing her arms back and forth and sometimes she loses her balance. But those don't stop her she gets right back up and goes again. I think she'll be walking soon. She'll be 8 months on Sunday. She's doing great and she loves her momma and big sister (even though big sister bugs the heck out of her.) :) Prairie has completed her first week of kindergarten. But she still not convinced she's in big school. Mainly because her school is still under construction and she's in the exact same room she was in for pre-school. We are not sure when her NEW school will be ready, but I wish the contractors would hurry up. They're already a month behind schedule and I think it's irritating everyone. Well, I think that's it for now. T and Prairie's Mom

GRADUATION

2009-07-30T09:00:00.000-07:00

Last night my first baby graduated from pre-school. As much as I was dreading it, it was a really great show. I don't have any pictures right now, but I will try and post some later. She dressed in her traditional clothes and had her hair fixed very pretty. They had a slide show of all the babies from the very beginning in 2004 to now. It was a wonderful slide slow. There were some great memories shown and there were also some sad memories shown.

My daughter received her basket that once held diapers, pacifiers, little bity socks and little bity clothes. Her blanket that has kept her warm for five years, and a new woven belt that will last a life time. I didn't cry, but I was on brink there a couple of times.

On August 10th she'll start big School!!!

CONGRATULATIONS TO MY BABY GIRL!!!!!

MEETING & TRIP

2009-07-27T11:30:00.001-07:00

On Thursday I have a meeting with a social worker in regards to Teela. Nothing has happened just that she's newly assigned to the case and needs to meet with me face to face. I am going to ask for her help in getting permanent custody of Teela and get some information about adopting her. Teela fits in with our family so well, I can't see her not being with us. She's adjusted so well, and I am no longer afraid to get close to her. She's starting to crawl and she can sit up on her own, something she started last week. She's also trying to pull herself up. She's doing alot for 7 months old. I'll let everyone know how it goes. Please keep your fingers crossed.

Today Prairie took a trip to Babyland ( home of the cabbage patch kids.) I think it's a trip she'll enjoy, but it's the first trip she's gone on without me. From my understanding it's about 3 hours away from where we live so I am just wondering how that went. But there were other children on this trip so maybe she's not too lonely. Usually, if she goes somewhere without me, she missing me about 20 minutes into the trip. She's doesn't really go anywhere unless I am with her and she hasn't been away from me since her dad and I divorced. She's my girl and I know that really bothers her dad. This trip was a total surprise. I've been getting her counseling since losing Cylas and the divorce, this trip was sponsored by her doctor. I just want her to enjoy herself today.

Life with Teela and Prairie is never boring. I hope I get some good news about custody on Thursday and I really hope Prairie isn't freaking out right about now.

The Mom

7 MONTHS OLD

2009-07-23T05:17:00.000-07:00

Today Teela is 7 months old. Prairie doesn't understand the whole month to month thing. She thinks she should turn a year older each time Teela turns a month older. It's so funny!! I've tried to explain it to her, but she's not in a understanding mood.

Teela I am so thankful you have entered my life. I can now see a little light at the end of my tunnel. You have brought joy back into my life and I love you as if you were my own. Keep growing, keep smiling, and just know that you are wanted and loved.

HAPPY 7 MONTHS TEELA!!!

EXERSAUCER

2009-07-21T08:16:00.000-07:00

I call this one "this is fun"

Enjoying my new toy

Teela having fun

"Hey, don't touch that!"

Last night Teela got her exersaucer. I couldn't wait to get her something besides a swing. But that thing was so hard to put together. By the time, I finished putting it together I was so frustrated. Prairie kept trying to "help" me, but she really wasn't. It was like 11:00 before Teela actually got to try it out. On the box it looked like a peice of cake, but I had a hard time. I don't know if it's because I'm a female or what, but that thing almost kicked my butt. But in the end it was worth it because Teela loved it!!!!! She explored every bit of it for about 30 minutes then it was time for bed. I know that after 6 weeks of no standing, she enjoyed being able to use her legs!!! I would put together 200 of those things just to see the smile on Teela's face.

****The pictures above were taken with my cell phone, so I apologize for the blurriness of each picture. It's hard to keep a 6 1/2 month old still in an exersaucer!!! :)****

NEW PICS OF TEELA (as promised)

2009-07-10T05:41:00.000-07:00

All of these were taken with my cell phone camera on July 8th.

POOR BABY

2009-07-08T05:50:00.001-07:00

Yesterday at school Teela got a boo - boo. She was reaching for a book and bumped her head on the shelf. I hate it when they get hurt at school. Prairie used to get hurt all the time when was smaller and it just broke my heart because I couldn't be there to make her feel better. As soon as Teela's teacher told me what happened she came right to me and layed her head on my chest. And of course I babyed her and kissed her head. It didn't end there. Her big sister, also kissed her and babyed her all the way home. Then once we got home she received more babying from Nan & Pops. But it wasn't the first time she's bumped her head. That's probably about the third time. She's bumped her head on her crib too. I know that babies will have accidents. I understand that, but those things make me feel so helpless. I can only imagine how it will be when she starts walking and running around. Today she has an appointment, but no shots this time. I am getting a second opinion on her over all health and development. I want to make sure I am doing the right thing for Teela. I want to make sure I am doing all I can for her. Sarah

4th OF JULY

2009-07-07T07:19:00.000-07:00

This was fun. Not alot of drama going on. I spent time with my mom's family. Prairie was able to swim with her cousin John and Teela can not visit her birth parents without my supervision. I've also been told to start working on permanent custody papers for Teela. I've tried to contact my lawyer and if I don't hear from him by Friday, I guess I'll use someone else.

We didn't have any cookouts, we're that fond of grilling. But Prairie and I enjoyed some fireworks on Saturday night. Teela slept through them, but I know that she would have enjoyed them if she was awake. I'm not the type of person who likes to travel. I like to stay at home. Prairie is the same way.

Teela has learned how to move around. She scoots backwards and then pushes herself forward on the bed. She can get up on all fours but doesn't quite know how to make them all move together. I think she'll be crawling by the end of the month though. She's very determined!!!! I also plan on getting their pictures made in the next few weeks. I don't have any pictures of Teela, so I kind of figure it's about time.

Prairie will graduate from pre-school on the 29th. I've already seen her invitations but I still can't believe my first baby is going to big school. Yesterday she said she's not excited anymore!!

She's such a drama queen. I don't know where she gets it from, I swear!!!

Well that's it for now...................

Teela & Prairie's Mom

MILESTONE

2009-06-25T10:24:00.000-07:00

Teela turned six months old on the 23rd. Yesterday she had her six month check-up and got two shots and one oral vaccination. She was such a good girl the whole time. The only time she cried was when they gave her the shots. I HATE those things. The doctor also told me that he thinks she'll be just fine. He thinks that her muscle problem will clear up with physical therapy and she won't have to go see a neuroligist (sp??). So I am relieved. Now I can't wait for her to start crawling. NO MORE PACI for this Little Miss either. She hasn't been taking one and when she does she just chews on it. So I've decided nows a good time to give it the boot. I've asked her teachers not to offer it to her and I've quite giving it to her at home. Next, I will introduce a cup. My mom thinks I'm making her grow up too fast, but I did the same thing with Prairie. It wasn't successful, but I tried. No recent picture of Teela yet, but I am working on it.

PRAIRIE

2009-06-16T07:33:00.000-07:00

Since my divorce from Prairie's dad, it's been hard, on her, not me. She loves her dad so much and can't understand why he left her. He is now married again and I can't stand his new wife. There's a lot that goes along with that, but right now it's not important. Prairie has been in counseling since her brother died. I try my best to help her understand what happened to him and why he had to go to heaven. She's only 5 but I think she understands alot more than most.

Her dad and his new wife denied Cylas being his son. Prairie has said numerous times, "why did my dad and D get their wish?" "How come we didn't get our wish for Cylas to stay?" I don't know how to answer that question. I try my best not to be negative toward him but it's been hard. I have a lot of hard feelings toward him for what he said about Cylas and what he allowed his new wife, then girlfriend, to say about our son. I feel like he didn't want him here and I feel like it was his fault Cylas died. Deep down I blame him!!!!

Prairie is hurting and I don't know how to stop that hurt. As a mother I feel helpless. I don't want her to hurt. Today, however, she's going to the movies with her counsler and then later on she'll go on another trip with her. Prairie loves going to see Ms. L. I think it's good because she has someone to talk to other than me. She still misses Cylas, but knows that he'll always be in her heart and in her mind. She tells me the same thing, when I'm crying missing him too. We do a good job at comforting each other, but I don't know how we've done it. We are both still trying to find our normal.

I tell Prairie every minute of every day that I love her!!! I've just begun telling Teela that I love her. It's been there, but I've been cautious with that word when it comes to her. But I do love her. I love both of my girls!! I am very lucky to have them!!!

Prairie's Mom

IT'S BEEN A WHILE

2009-06-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

I tend to forget about this blog. I am still in the habit of posting on Cylas' blog. I still give updates of the girls on there even though that's the whole reason for this BLOG. Well not much has been going on. I took both girls to Dollywood last weekend and it was so HOT!! Teela was miserable but Prairie was having some fun. On a fun note, Teela is finally getting her first tooth. She will be 6 months old next week. I've found out recently that she has some muscle issues and maybe some nerve damage. But I have been reassured that with physical therapy she will be fine. Her mom took drugs while she was preggo with Teela so I have to keep a close eye on her. Prairie will be graduating from day care on July 10th. This is something I am dreading. I'm not ready for my baby to start BIG school. I took her shopping while we were in TN and we bought some new clothes and some new shoes. She recently got her hair cut and she really likes it. Right now, she wants a water gun, I can only imagine what she'll do with that. I've got to find the one she wants first. She's been missing her brother, but his 17 month angelvarsary is coming up on Monday, so I think that's what is bringing that on. I am still adjusting to having two girls. Before I had kids I always wanted boys because I thought they were easier to take care of. They're not as bossy and you don't have to buy frilling stuff for them. But having two girls has been exciting. I wouldn't trade either of them in for nothing in the world. My days are filled with fun and laughter. Prairie is a monkey so she keeps Teela laughing all the time. And Teela of course is the boss!!!! I hope to have some new pictures of Teela soon. Teela & Prairie's Mom

A Bedtime Picture

2009-04-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

I have a new picture of my girls. They are ready for bed. Teela looks tired and Prairie looks like she could go a little longer. These last few months have not been easy for either of us. Teela has been with us for a month and I am still adjusting to life as a mother of two. But Teela is such a good baby. She sleeps all night and loves it when we make her laugh. She loves her bath time. Prairie is a great big sister. I knew she would be, but was never able to really live life in that role with Cylas. She misses her brother and sometimes it's hard to see her in pain. I'm learning to be happy again, but still cautiously approaching my new role as Teela's "Mom". I am very uncomfortable in that role, but I suppose it will easier with time.

SadMommy

New Blog

2009-04-02T06:16:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to start another blog dedicated to my two girls. I feel kind of guilty for always posting on Cylas' blog about Prairie and Teela. That blog was meant for Cylas only. This will be a place where I can go to talk about how my girls are doing and how we are moving on without Cylas, not forgetting him just learning to live again.